It’s strange, really. I know the door in front of me is already open. But somehow, I’m still standing here, not ready to knock or step through it.

And after reflecting deeply, I realize why.

> Because I don’t have another option yet. Not in terms of comfort or clarity. I just know that leaving something without direction feels reckless. I’ve always carried responsibility seriously, and being uncertain isn’t something I’d allow myself to face without preparation. That’s why it still feels heavy, because practicality and survival still matter.

> Because of the sense of belonging. I helped shape, grow, and nurture this journey from the very beginning. I’ve been here through the struggles and the milestones, watching it grow from nothing. And just like a mother with her child, letting go feels almost impossible. My friend said, “Even a child must eventually grow up, and sometimes, we can only watch from afar.” Maybe… it’s that time.

> Because my world has revolved around this journey for too long. For years, my focus has been on this one journey, so much that I might have missed other opportunities, other perspectives, other versions of life outside of it. My eyes and energy have been centered here for so long that stepping out feels like learning how to see again.

And maybe that’s exactly what the universe is showing me, that when ego starts speaking louder than growth, it’s a sign that your time in one chapter is closing.

It’s not about losing. It’s about realizing that maybe, the lesson is done. And the next one is waiting.

Now… I need to open that door. Be ready to knock, open, and walk through it. I need to be ready.

No, I must!

I need to take that step, even if my knees are shaking and my heart is unsure.

Universe, please help me through it. Give me strength to trust what’s waiting ahead, courage to release what no longer fits, and peace to know that whatever happens next, -> is exactly where I’m meant to be.

Lastly, if you’re reading this while standing before your own door, may the universe give you the courage too, to knock, to open, and to trust what waits beyond.

~ Reendiana

** By the way, I’m writing this at my friend’s house, in the city I’ve always manifested as my “future home.”

I decided to stay here tonight because I needed a girls’ night, a safe space to talk and let things out. She’s been where I am now, and somehow, talking with her brings a quiet kind of understanding.